Are you unsure or anxious about what to expect in the bedroom after you have your baby? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! First and most importantly, most obstetricians recommend that you abstain from intercourse until after you have your 6 week postpartum checkup. There are a couple of reasons for this. Your body needs time to heal. Also, you need to discuss birth control with your provider before you start having sex again. If your provider determines that it is ok for you to resume and you have decided on a form of birth control, the next step is making sure you are ready.
Being ready for sex with a new baby is more than just a physical issue. You most likely will be exhausted and sleep deprived from your role as a new mom. It’s important that you talk openly with your partner about how you are feeling and together set some goals for intimacy and sex. Sometimes partners feel “left out” now that you are spending so much time and energy on the new baby. It is important that both partners feel appreciated and secure in the relationship. Make time for the “two of you” when baby is napping or sleeping. Start taking short “dates” while baby is home with a trusted relative or friend.
Start slowly and take time to be sure that you are appropriately stimulated and ready for sexual relations. You may find that your body has changed or responds differently and this can be normal for some women. Use a lubricant if you are having difficulty or experiencing discomfort with intercourse. If this persists, you may want to check back with your physician.
Also consider that it “doesn’t always have to be about sex”. Couples can do other things that promote intimacy. Try showering or bathing together. Candlelight dinners or just a bag of popcorn and a favorite movie can help you feel close. Remember too that touching, embracing and kissing are also important. Be open to impulsiveness, enjoy each other and remember that this is the basis of your family.
Be sure you continue to take your prenatal vitamins as your body needs extra support at this time, especially while you are breast feeding. Pay attention to your diet and avoid foods that are going to suck your energy. Exercise is important as well as it will give you that pick up you need to keep going when you feel you are at your wits end. Consider getting regular massages to support your immune system and work out those kinks from midnight feedings.
The happier you are, the happier your sex life will be. Don’t hesitate to contact a professional for advice.